Eleven Years Later and 9/11 still remains both a Mystery to the Rational Mind, and an Opportunity for the Healing of the Heart

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

"Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints;  it is a still, small voice.  It does not shout at you, that is true.   And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way.  Be the person you are.  Never try to be another, and you will become mature.  Maturity is accepting the responsibility of being oneself, whatsoever the cost.  Risking all to be oneself, that's what maturity is all about."     -Osho

Eleven years ago, we all experienced a shocking and life-changing event when 4 hijacked planes crashed in various parts of the East Coast.   There remains much mystery surrounding the incident and like any tragic event that impacts our lives, recalling this historic event can cause ongoing distress. 

While we may never fully understand how or why 9/11 happened, we each have an opportunity to allow time to heal wounds and evolve into more compassionate and resilient beings.  

A common initial reaction is to move into survival or ‘flight/fight’ modes.   These reactions involve increased fear and can lead to shutting out the opportunity to learn about self and others.   In a traumatic event, this is a very natural response as our frontal lobe is overruled by our ‘reptilian brain’ with its general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system,priming us to run away from or directly confront the danger.  

Further, this reaction when not fully understood can also lead to hatred of the  ‘other,’ as in other beliefs, other lifestyles, other ethnicities, etc.    This only perpetuates the illusion that we are all separate from one another and we lose sight of what we hold in common. 

My hope is that as we each deepen our meditation and yoga practice we begin to see through the illusion of separateness and begin to develop a secondary, a more evolved and sustainable reaction to this historic tragedy.   We can all take the time to question and learn about other ways of life.   We can each open up our minds and our hearts to those that may hold very different values and beliefs.  I am not saying this is easy, but I am confident we humans are capable of moving beyond this fear-based attitude towards the world. 

In an interesting article by Lisa Firestone, the Huffington Post explores the impact Trauma is having on our society and ways to help one another overcome some of the symptoms. 

And Pema Chordron shares her wisdom that also give us a Buddhist perspective on how our lives are full of both gloriousness and wretchedness:

“Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. 

Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us.  We feel connected. 

But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. 

The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. 

On the other hand, wretchedness--life's painful aspect--softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. 

When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose--you're just there. 

The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. 

We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple. 

Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.”

                                       
― Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living

If you are reading this blog, this means you are a crucial part of the healing that is already taking place around the planet.   

Whether the tragedies of September 11, 2001 directly or indirectly touched your life, or whether you have suffered from other losses or unfortunate situations, know that we are all in this together and you are NOT alone.     

I encourage you to share this blog with someone in your life and to add your own two cents for deepening a sense of interconnectedness and community.

  

In peace and unity,
Ken

Lessons I Have Learned from an Unlikely Teacher: Bank of America 
Bank of America has taught me so much about my yoga practice. Here are ten practical and spiritual lessons I have learned

Monday, March 05, 2012

“On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.

                                                     — Friedrich Nietzsche

One of the earliest tales in yoga mythology is about the warrior Arjuna heading into battle while consulting with Krishna about the moral dilemma of engaging in a brutal war with his fellow humans.   As it turns out Krishna encourages him to follow his Dharma or his ‘duty’, which in his case, was to wholeheartedly step into the battle so that he can restore balance and justice. 

In this modern era of global conflicts that are not quite as easy to understand as the ancient battle described in the yoga texts, there are still some comparisons that can be drawn.   Everything from poverty, to corporate and political injustices, to basic human and civil rights seem to be more and more intense these days.  While it may feel better to turn off the news (and I highly recommend that as a practice from time to time), we can no longer simply go back to sleep and pretend that we are not living at a very critical time in our collective history. 

Ever since the Occupy Oakland camp in front of City Hall was disbanded (or raided or imploded, depending on how one looks at it) in December 2011, I have not been able to teach yoga on the streets to the Occupiers and the commuters in that area so I reapplied my energies to daily life including my social work jobs, yoga classes, and yoga therapy workshops.  For the past few months, I actually felt that things were going fairly smoothly and on some level I did allow myself to ‘go back to sleep,’ forgetting the bigger societal woes that many face -- that is until one fateful day in February when I received TWO separate and contradictory letters from the exact same representative at Bank of America. I was then abruptly shaken out of my slumber and I am wide awake now!  And much like Arjuna, I am called back into a battle that I would prefer not to deal with but it seems this is my Dharma or my ‘duty’ to see it through. 

I want to explore how my current ‘battle against Bank of America’, my campaign to save my home from foreclosure, holds some key practical and spiritual lessons for me. 

In mid-February, I received both a foreclosure notice and a ‘congrats on your trial loan modification’ letter from the same person at BoA.    While the legal experts I have consulted with say that this is legally acceptable practice, even they agree that it is a more costly procedure for the banks.    And a more stressful and confusing process for their customers. 

Now if my relationship with BoA were a relationship between two people – not a preposterous idea considering the Supreme Court’s recent ruling in Citizens United – how would that look?   If I were in a relationship with someone  (i.e. landlord, parent, friend) who was letting me live in their home and they came up to me and slapped me across the face and said, “I am going to kick you out sometime soon.  Not sure when, but be ready to be kicked out!” and then in the next moment they gave me a huge hug and said, “I know how hard you have been working to pay me for your room, so I am going to give you a chance to stay.  I won’t give you any specifics, but just keep paying me and we will see how it goes.”   And should I inquire about any specifics or which scenario is more likely (getting kicked out or getting to stay), the reply causes me even more confusion and distress because I can’t get a clear answer.  What type of relationship would this be?  I would say I am in a pretty messed up dysfunctional one for sure.    So, how do I stay engaged, and not loose my cool or my mind?

Over the past few weeks I have come up with 10 key practical and spiritual lessons I am learning through this experience.

1)    My Mantra is the “Serenity Prayer” 

In moving through this process, I remind myself over and over that there are some things I have control over (i.e. my breathing, my attitude, and if I decide to walk away from this ‘battle’) and some things that I have no control over (i.e. the bank losing my documents, the outcome of the loan modification decision).  The Serenity Prayer definitely brings clarity to an otherwise perplexing situation and allows me to channel my energies into the things I can change and let go of those that I can’t. 

2)    Speak My Truth  (Satya) 

In yoga, knowing and speaking one’s truth is a very powerful and empowering action.  Sure, the government bailed out the banks just a few years ago, and yes the banks managed to settle a major class action lawsuit in which they walked away not having to pay for all their misdeeds.  And part of my practice is to not forget these wrongdoings.   (For a very comprehensive description of the Truth about our banking industry, check out Rolling Stone’s article:  “Too Crooked to Fail”: 

  

3)    Always be compassionate with everyone, even the BoA representatives

Ok, so even if there is a lot of top management wrongdoing going on, whenever I get on the phone with a front line representative, I do try to cultivate as much compassion and lovingkindness for the person on the other end.  I have learned that some of the phone representatives barely make $15/hour and so far as I can tell, none of them have a Union backing their jobs.  In this fading empire, people are struggling to make ends meet so I feel for those who have to deal with stressed out, disgruntled customers with little training or backing from their employer.  I even got one of the representatives to be a little bit choked up about her work situation and another to disclose her own housing woes.  I TRULY hope there is healing going on in these bank-customer conversations. 

4)    Set a Clear Intention

Let’s get one thing clear: I would like very much to remain in my downtown Oakland home and live in a wonderful community that is such a crucial part of my overall well-being.  I am going to take very good care of myself and stay on top of what I need to do to keep my home from being taken away by the banks.  And those that know me do know that I am very well equipped for a social or economic justice battle.  Bring it on, BoA!

  

5)    Deepen, don’t avoid, my meditation and yoga practice

I am very aware at how the “worrying mind” will take on this situation and gnaw away at it endlessly.  Sleep and eating habits have been impacted. Now is the time to make sure that my morning and evening practice is not interrupted.  Now is the time to keep my mind-body in its optimal health so I can deal with the increased amount of stress this ongoing dilemma has brought my way. 

  

6)    Maintain Balance

I am learning all over again how to turn off the computer, to limit the amount of news articles on the banks I read every day, and how to keep the positive and healthy things in my life (i.e. relationships, exercise and mediation routines) from falling by the way side.   The best way I have found is to schedule in brief periods of time when I focus solely on the ‘battle with the bank’ and other longer times when I do not talk or read about the banks at all.   

7)    Maya:  playfully accepting that this is just one part of ‘reality’

According to Wikipedia, “Maya is a sanskrit term that has multiple meanings, usually quoted as "illusion", centered on the fact that we do not experience the environment itself but rather a projection of it, created by us. Eastern philosophy understood what Keanu Reeves was dealing with long before there were special effects to make the Matrix seem so scary, foreboding and trippy. I remind myself every day that the world is a reflection of my internal experiences. according to some, Maya is merely ‘the structural integrity of one’s ego” and it keeps us from waking up to what is real. the way I see it, if I am distraught and preoccupied by a call I received from the bank a day ago, what beautiful things in life I may miss out on all together. The vibrant spring blossoms, the reassuring hug of my partner and the innocent laughter of children are there whether I notice them or not. It’s up to me to acknowledge my relationship to the world around me, and how my attitude will be a filter in how I experience it.

8)    Reach out to others, never go it alone

Now that i have a better understanding of what it takes to deal with a financial institution, I know I am not about to do the Don Quixote Method and tilt at windmills alone. I now have on my team my State Assemblyperson, a powerful nonprofit that helps people deal with the banks, and a legal consultant. It’s a shame that so much energy has to be put into something that has become so complex and so unmanageable that no one person could possibly do it alone. 
                       
Nonetheless, I have met many very well intended professionals who have their hearts in their work and put fairness and economic justice first. a beautiful reminder that there is goodness in all people and we must come together if we really want to see the world change.  

9)    Part of the “Battle” is for the Greater Good

I realize that there is a good chance that within the next 6 months, I will have to walk away from the home that I love so much.  My hope is that through networking, speaking up for justice and sharing my experience that some others may also benefit.   I have shared with many people via Facebook and in person standing in front of a bank, handing out copies of the Rolling Stone article, and I hopethat people will not go back to sleep and will find for themselves a way to ‘pay it forward’, creating a positive ripple effect in our society.  If we continue to live in a society where money is first and everything else including health and community are a distant second, then even after my housing situation is resolved, I know that I will still continue to put time and energy into helping improve our society. 

  

10) Practice Non-attachment

I tell myself over and over again that I must practice not being attached to my home or the outcome of this battle.   I also know that a certain amount of passion and energy comes from having something worth    fighting for.   So many of the invaluable lessons mentioned above help me practice staying engaged but also staying emotionally neutral with how it all turns out.   As with so much of my yoga practice and my    personal development, I am a work in progress.

Kathleen McDonald stated:  

“Overcoming attachment does not mean becoming cold and indifferent. On the contrary, it means learning to have relaxed control over our mind through understanding the real causes of happiness and fulfillment, and this enables us to enjoy life more and suffer less.”  

I hope that whenever you are faced with a stressful situation, you will come up with your own list of grounding lessons or mantras that help you through to the other side.  All of the wisdom of yoga is ready and waiting for you.   And it doesn't have to cost you a thing!  

Just as each of our life journeys are unique, the obstacles you face in your life may be quite different from what I have described above.  The yoga mat may be where you first find a moment of clarity or connection to your True Self and a break from the chattering of the monkey mind.  

But that is only the beginning. 

Stepping off the mat and facing the everyday joys and stressors is really where the practice takes off.    

Trust me on that one!  

Peace, Ken

I woke up one morning to realize I am living on "borrowed time"....Now what?

A Matter of Life and Death....
Monday, March 05, 2012

A Matter of Life and Death…

Last month, I had two reminders of how precious and brief life truly is.

First, on February 8th, I had the distinguished honor of sitting with my neighbor during his final hours of life. He was 30 years old. His wife had supported him through many years of chronic illness and multiple medical complications that eventually took its toll on his physical body. His mom and his wife were at his side when he passed away that evening. It seemed that they were already prepared to say their good byes as he had been in hospice care for the past few weeks as his body surrendered to the inevitable final transition. Tears were shed, laughter was heartfelt, prayers and hugs were part of the late night evening when other family and church members arrived to celebrate how this man touched each of their lives.

A week later, on the morning of Valentine’s Day, I awoke with the sweet remembrance of my mother who passed away from a short battle with pancreatic cancer exactly 20 years ago. I reminisced about how my humble and compassionate mother managed to selflessly raise my brother and me as well as act as the surrogate parent for many youth in our neighborhood. She was the go-to person when someone needed a baby sitter; she often stepped in to offer minor veterinarian care for those that could not afford to take their pet to the vet. She worked a minimum wage job to help her younger son through college, something her parents were not able to do for her. My mother was 42 when she passed away. According to one way of thinking, I will, therefore, be living on ‘borrowed time’ when I turn 42 in August of this year.

The minister at my neighbor’s memorial service boldly stated:

“Life is a gift, not an entitlement.”

The minister’s message touches my heart. I realize that every day, every breath is a gift and that my yoga practice is about staying present with this awareness.

I dedicate my service as a social worker and as a yoga therapist to my mother’s spirit, I also continue to deepen my understanding of what it means not to take anything for granted. As I find gratitude and balance in my life, I honor that my yoga practice on the mat is a metaphor for a constant need to recalibrate with the constant changes that occur How can I push myself to my physical limits while remaining in my open heart of compassion and lovingkindness? How do I balance my thinking mind with my feeling heart? How can I discern what pose to stay in and when to rest? When do I take in the wisdom of the teacher leading a class and when do I let my inner teacher lead my practice? How do I celebrate my body without getting attached to how it looks or how it feels in any given moment? How do I surrender into my final resting pose and stay fully aware of my relaxed state without falling asleep?

Lately the wisdom of the Muppets continues to remind me of the simple yet profound way I learn how to be present in each vulnerable moment of my vulnerable life. The other day, I was listening to my Muppet’s station on Pandora and this sweet little song came on. It’s Kermit’s nephew Robin singing a poem by A.A. Milne (of Winnie-the-Pooh fame).

Here's the link if you would like to view and hear the original recording of

“Halfway down the Stairs.”   

I actually remember watching this episode back in the 1970s and experiencing such an intense sense of vulnerability for this little Muppet creature who sits and quietly sings a song from his heart.   "I hope no one comes down those stairs and accidentally steps on him," I thought to myself.  

I am dedicated to keeping the most important things in life as simple as possible. I thank those that have demonstrated what it means to live life fully and die with dignity. I am grateful for the lessons my mother taught me as a child and the lessons my recently departed neighbor taught me during the brief time I got to reside near him.

Likewise, I dedicate my yoga class teachings to be an opportunity for each of us to dwell in mindfulness, to be grateful for each breath and smile. The practice of yoga can be an opportunity to remember our best selves, our true selves, and to make ourselves open to the new eternal present moment.

And I close with this quote by Erich Fromm:

“Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing, or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.”

 

I know who, and I am certain you do, too!

Peace, Ken

Take a Leap of Faith with me!

Taking a Leap into One's True Potential

Monday, January 30, 2012

“Life is a travelling to the Edge of Knowledge, then a leap taken.”

                                                                                   -David Herbert Lawrence

 

 

I have always found it very peculiar that every four years we get an extra day in February, but to be honest, until today I never really took a leap into exploring why that is the case.

I found a scientific and somewhat satisfying answer on WIKIPEDIA, and from there I also read STRAIGHT DOPE’s explanation.   Now, I am no math whiz, but the more I read, the more contrived the answer became. I realized I had better stop trying to reason out the following list of exceptions –

Every year divisible by 4 is a leap year (adds an extra day to February),

EXCEPT the last year of each century, such as 1900, which is NOT a leap year . . .

EXCEPT when the number of the century is a multiple of 4, such as 2000, which IS a leap year ...

EXCEPT the year 4000 and its later multiples (8000, 12000, etc.) which are NOT leap years.

– and just go back to my comfort zone of pondering the existential opportunity this EXTRA day offers, all the while breathing a sigh of relief to know that not finding a clear-cut answer is THE answer. WHEW!  

The Zen Master Dogan once said:

The life of one day is enough to rejoice.

Even though for just one day, 

if you can be awakened, 

that one day is vastly superior to one endless life of sleep...

if this day in the lifetime of a hundred years is lost, 

will you ever touch it with your hands again?

This is where I ask myself: what does being totally awake and present mean to me right now? In the finite number of years I have to live, what do I want to do with my time?  How could exercising an even more mindful approach to life enhance my quality of life?  And as a yoga therapist, how can I support others in doing the same?  I guess this extra day in February could come in handy after all!  

Just as 2012 is our leap year, the last day of this short month is our leap day.  And that is what I think we all should do!  Take action.  Do something.  Move forward.  Be proactive.  Jump out of a rut.  And leap towards our true potential.  Most importantly, be present with who you are and where you are RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!  

So, if you are already enjoying each and every moment you know what it means to live life to the fullest.  Then you also already get what it means to have an entire extra day (24 hours or 86,400 seconds) to experience life in such a magical way.

But,for those of us still asking ourselves: “so what is so precious about an entire extra day every 4 years?”, I hope that even non-trekkies will see the value of watching this short scene called “The Perfect Moment” from the Star Trek: Insurrection film in which Captain Picard learns the amazing benefit of being present and fully awake.

Click Here to Watch the Clip


I realized that I worked way too hard in 2011.   While i was able to revamp my website, grow my private yoga therapy practice, establish a series of well-received workshops and take on the extra responsibilities of leadership within the Naked Men’s Yoga SF community, by the time I got to my end-of-the-year retreat in Hawaii, I was exhausted and it took me quite some time to overcome feeling unmotivated and uninspired.  Now, I realize that amount of self-disclosure coming from a yoga therapist might be taken the wrong way; but as I proceed into this leap year, I set an intention to realign my work ethic with my yoga ethics.  It is such an honor to do the work I do, but I am taking my own advice – something I learned from the airlines – that indeed I need to “put on my own oxygen mask first.”  that is what I am leaping towards:  a better balance between serving others and taking care of myself.

The cellist Yo-Yo Ma once said:

"For many reasons, things can fall apart, or threaten to, and then there's got to be a leap of faith. Ultimately, when you're at the edge, you have to go forward or backward. If you go forward, you have to jump together."

Here, I would like to invite you to come along with me on this interesting journey, to mindfully take a leap into whatever will make your life more fulfilling, more rewarding, more satisfying.

The world really needs you and me right now.  And the more we nurture ourselves and those around us, the better the world will be. We can sit around and wait for the economy to turn around, or we can spend more quality time with one another.   We can complain about how things are getting worse, or we can realize that by simply being kinder to one another we are adding to the positive energy of our whole community.  We can let fear immobilize us or we can foster courage and take a leap of faith. 

And in the words of the greenest leaper of them all, Kermit the Frog:

Kermit: (singing) Life's like a movie, write your own ending…

All muppets: [singing] Keep believing, keep pretending; we've done just what we've set out to do, thanks to the lovers, the dreamers and you!

Are you with me?  Are you?  Well then, why are you still reading this blog?

It’s time to leap forward and enjoy the day!

Meditation

Friday, April 15, 2011

New Research shows the benefits of Meditation and Yoga...as if we didn't already know!

Huffington Post's Wray Herbert writes about how meditation is good for mind, body, spirit AND our DNA!CLICK HERE to read this interesting article.

Yoga Therapy for Overcoming Trauma

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk on yoga as a form of treatment for PTSD

Friday, April 15, 2011

As I have worked with many inner city youths in the Bay Area, I have often applied yoga tools such as pranayama (breathwork) and asana (poses) as a form of treatment of trauma and chronic stress.  I was especially impressed by Dr Bessel van der Kolk, one of the worlds leading authorities on PTSD ("Post-traumatic Stress Disorder"), and his evidence-based approach to treating persons with yoga.  Please check out an interview of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk by clicking here.  

Ken explains Partner Yoga: KTSF Interview by Pei-chun Liao

Interview Series

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Yoga means “union” of all things and is more than just a physical workout.

It is also a beautiful and dynamic metaphor for life. Similarly, partner yoga offers two people (i.e. friends, spouses, significant others, relatives) a safe, playful and supportive space to develop a practice of mutuality, respect, compassion and awareness of oneself and the other person.  

I thoroughly enjoy guiding two people in a yoga practice where each person gets to borrow the other person's physical and energetic bodies to support the deepening of their shared yogic experience.  

*Please note that this interview is in both Chinese and English.

KTSF Interview of Ken Breniman on Partner Yoga.